A Confession
by Loveedith
Summary: What did Edith tell Mrs Pelham in the morning before the engagement dinner? What happened after that? The OC is Mrs Pelham. Canon, I think. Well - at least it is my version of canon. Now complete.
1. He wasn't Born to this Kind of Life

"I'm sorry to disturb you", Edith said when she was showed into Patricia Pelham's writing room. Edith had decided that she had to tell Bertie's mother about Marigold.

"I was just catching up with some letters", Patricia said. Edith half wished that the woman would say that she was too busy to see her, but no such luck.

So Edith took a deep breath and started. "I've come because there's something I feel you ought to be aware of before the announcement of the engagement this evening."

"Does Bertie know you're here?" his mother asked.

"No."

"But he knows what you're about to tell me?"

"Yes. He knows everything."

"Well... You'd better begin."

...

Edith hesitated. Then she decided to start with something entirely different.

"What I'm going to tell you will probably make you stop listening to me..." she started.

"Surely not!" Mrs Pelham said with a rather friendly smile. But Edith knew that the smile would probably soon disappear.

"Well, we'll see!" Edith said. "Anyway, I would like to say some other things first."

"Alright."

Edith hesitated again. This woman - sometimes she seemed so hard, and her own son, who was such a kind man, had described her in a not very flattering way. Truth be told, Edith was a bit afraid of Bertie's mother. But she had decided to do this, and it was too late to back out.

"Well - go on!" Bertie's mother said after a while.

"Well, the first thing I want to talk about is Peter, the late Marquess."

"Oh! What about him?"

"Bertie loved him. He doesn't need to hear your bad opinions about him. He already knows them."

"Yes, I know he loved him. Peter used to play with Bertie when he was a boy, although he was so many years older. I guess Bertie was happy that an older boy took an interest in him. Peter was rather slow to grow up, if he ever did."

"And if you think Peter lived in an unmoral way, it is better not to mention it. People forget about scandals much faster than one believes. As long as they aren't constantly reminded."

They were both quiet while Bertie's mother considered this.

"I think you have got a good point there", she said at last. "I shall think about what I say about Peter in the future. And I'm glad you said this, I think you are both clever and brave. I don't think I would ever have dared to say things like these to my own mother-in-law. She was a rather imposing woman."

"Times have changed, I guess", Edith said. "And I'm not very brave. It's just - I want to make things easier for Bertie. I do love him and he worries so much."

...

They were both quiet again, while Patricia considered how lucky her son was to have found this caring woman.

"Which leads to the next thing", Edith said after a while. "Please don't get me wrong now, but I want to say some things about Bertie. About you and Bertie. And please don't be angry with me, I don't mean to be impertinent!"

"I'm intrigued. But I usually admire honesty. And perhaps you will find I can take a certain amount of criticism."

"I know you love Bertie", Edith started. "And although I don't know you very well, yet I know that you must be a good person, or else you wouldn't have a son like Bertie..." She trailed off.

"Thank you! That's very kind!" Patricia said. "But I guess the hard part is still to come."

"Yes, it is", Edith said. "And I think Bertie would probably hate me for saying this to you... But... I think you should have a little more faith in him. I think you make Bertie nervous. Please stop doing that. He... I've seen what a capable person he can be..."

The two women were both quiet while Patricia considered this.

"But he wasn't born to this kind of life", Patricia said then. "He doesn't know what to do. So I'm happy that he will marry you."

"Perhaps he wasn't born to it, but he has the right kind of heart. My mother is an American, she wasn't born to be a Countess either. Her father had money, but he was a self-made man with very little education. My mother had to learn a lot of new things when she married my father. But she has managed very well, and so will Bertie. He will be a wonderful Marquess. There isn't a better man I think, kind and selfless and compassionate. As well as competent and intelligent."

Patricia smiled.

"Thank you, Edith!" she said. "I'm really happy to hear you praise him like that. For a mother, praise of one's children is even better than praise of oneself. You will understand that when you become a mother yourself."

"Well", Edith said. "That brings us to my main reason to come here..."

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment!


	2. She is my Daughter

Edith looked at Bertie's mother. Patricia Pelham was smiling at her. Edith knew that Bertie loved his mother, she didn't want the two of them to break up. Edith knew this was the only close relative Bertie had left.

But Edith was still determined to tell Bertie's mother about Marigold, even though Bertie had explicitly told her not to. She was tired of living in a lie, and she was sure that Patricia would understand soon enough anyhow, once Edith and Marigold had moved in. And then what?

So she decided to just do it.

"I have to tell you something that you won't like." Edith started.

...

"All right!" the older woman said. She was still smiling.

"It is about Marigold, my ward, who will move with me here. The truth is she isn't really my ward. She is my daughter."

"Oh, I see." Patricia was still smiling. "Bertie never told me you have been married before."

"Well, the thing is, I haven't."

That was the moment Edith saw the smile disappear from Patricia's face.

"Oh! I see. I was really looking forward to having the little girl here..." she looked at Edith again, obviously not able to understand all the implications at once.

They were both quiet for a while.

"What about the father?" Patricia asked then. "Won't he be claiming the child."

"He is dead. He never even got to know that Marigold existed. He was married, trying to get a divorce. The only parent named on the birth certificate is me."

"And Bertie knows all this and doesn't care about it?" Patricia was looking more and more shocked. Edith almost regretted telling her.

"Your son is not a judgemental man", Edith said quietly. "That is one of the many things I love him for."

None of them said anything more for a long time.

"I know you love Bertie", Patricia said then. "I know you don't want to make life hard for him. Things like these are bound to come out. Do you really want to burden him with all that?"

Edith didn't know how to answer that. Of course she didn't want to be a burden to Bertie.

"I must say I'm rather disappointed. I like you very much, and I have always thought you are good for Bertie. But this... it is a little too much...Do you really think you are worthy of marrying him?"

"No!" Edith said with emphasise. "I have never thought that. Not before, when he was a land agent, even less now. It is the wonder of my life that he wants me."

"Well, let's just say I don't announce the engagement tonight", Patricia said. "That will give you time to think things over. It is too late to cancel the dinner, so we will just make it an occasion to thank people for supporting Bertie. That's what the guests have been told after all. And you and your parents are still very welcome, of course."

"Thank you! And yes, I think I will need to think." Edith mumbled.

"And I do appreciate your honesty", Bertie's mother said as she went back to her writing desk. Edith understood that the conversation was over.

...

After Edith had left Bertie's mother, she decided that she didn't need to think at all. She just couldn't marry Bertie. So she went looking for him and finally found him up on the castle wall, looking for her.

"I wondered where you were", he said, but not before kissing her. But he stopped sooner than he had wanted to, sensing her reluctance.

"I told your mother about Marigold. She won't announce the engagement during dinner. She thinks I would be a burden to you, and I think she is right. So it is over. I ought to go and tell my parents that we will leave first thing tomorrow morning."

Edith had expected Bertie to be annoyed about her decision, but she hadn't expected the absolute terror in his face.

"Edith, don't do this to me!" he gasped. "Please!"

...

They were both quiet, looking at each other while Edith's eyes started to fill with tears.

"Do you still love me?" Bertie asked with trembling voice.

"Of course I do!"

"That is the only thing that matters then! And _I'll_ announce our engagement myself if my mother won't."

"But can't you see... It is because I love you that I don't want to burden you with me."

"You will never be a burden to me. Never, never, never. Ever, ever, ever. You are what holds me up. I love you and I need you. Life was terrible without you, and I won't let that happen again. Not if I can do anything at all to stop it."

Edith was stunned. She only nodded.

"My mother doesn't decide whom I am to marry", Bertie said. "I do. The only other person who has any say is you. I wish you hadn't told her, but nothing has changed between the two of us. We are still getting married and little Marigold is still going to grow up here at Brancaster."

Mrs Pelham was a strong woman, but Edith started to realise that she had an even stronger son.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! And thank you for the kind reviews to last chapter! Please leave a comment!


	3. I Wanted to Spare You

Lunch was a simple affair that day. Bertie, Edith and Edith's parents were just having a small meal, a soup, some bread and some cheese, so the staff could concentrate on preparing for the big dinner in the evening.

Mrs Pelham was having her lunch in her own flat, as she usually did, so they were perhaps free to talk about her, but they didn't.

Edith was very quiet and Bertie only gave short answers to Robert and Cora's questions about the estate.

Bertie had decided to have a word with his mother later on, and was wondering what to say to her. He really didn't want to break with her, he knew she was far from perfect, but he also knew she loved him. But his mother just had to accept Edith. He wasn't going to change his mind about marrying her, no matter what his mother said.

"I told Bertie's mother about Marigold", Edith said when the table was cleared and the footmen had left after lunch.

"Oh", Cora said. Robert just looked at Edith.

Bertie sensed that they didn't want to discuss this in his presence.

"Why don't the three of you go out for a walk", he suggested. "Perhaps down to the lake?"

"That sounds like a good idea", Cora said. "I would like to see the lake. Aren't you coming with us?"

"I'm afraid not", Bertie said. "I have some business to attend to. But Edith knows the way, we went there a few days ago."

Bertie smiled at the memory. They had sat there on a bench, looking out over the lake, kissing and talking for quite some time that day. He had been blissfully happy that they were back together again.

...

So the Crawleys fetched their coats and were off, leaving Bertie behind.

The business he had to attend to was of course talking to his mother about Edith. He went searching for her and found her in the library, looking at the dinner placement for the evening.

"I know you know", Bertie said. "Edith's told me she came to you this morning."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Patricia asked. She felt rather upset about being left in the dark about something as important as that by her son.

"I wanted to spare you", Bertie said.

"Is that the word?" Patricia said. _Delude me_ is probably more accurate, she thought.

"I'd have kept you in the dark", Bertie said. "It was Edith's decision to speak up."

So, that was how little effect all her admonitions to Bertie when he was a little boy about telling the truth had had. No effect at all.

"Is that supposed to make her sordid revelations fragrant?" she said.

"For me, her story shows only her courage, her decency, her loyalty, and her high regard for truth!" Bertie said. It was obvious to Patricia that her son was besotted by that woman and didn't want to listen to reason.

"I can reach my own conclusions", she said.

"I'm not a child, Mother. I won't be dictated to", Bertie said.

"Bertie, you've a tough task ahead of you", Patricia said. "A task few would envy, if they knew much about it. You need a wife with the strength of character and the highest moral probity."

"I quite agree, and I have chosen accordingly", Bertie said.

He was blinded by love, how could he accept that woman otherwise? Edith herself had said that she didn't feel worthy of him.

"But Edith is damaged goods", Patricia protested lamely. "I do not dislike her, but she's ruled herself out of the running and what is more, she knows it."

Perhaps that was the most important part of it for her. She wanted Bertie to have the best, in everything. And that was not an unmarried mother with a child that she had to hide not to cause a scandal.

Bertie looked down at the floor. Damaged goods! He hoped his mother hadn't called Edith something like that to her face. The thought of that made him cringe.

Right now Bertie felt like saying some very unpleasant things to his mother, but he checked himself. He decided only to answer the nicest thing in what she had said.

"I'm glad you don't dislike her, Mother. Now I think we should probably bring this to an end."

And with that he left the room, giving his mother a chance to think the whole thing over again.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for the lovely reviews to last chapter. Please leave a comment!

...

I have got the box-set now, so I will perhaps not publish anything more for a while. Or get a lot of new ideas.


	4. We Can Make a Success of This

"Oh, Bertie! What have you got yourself into?"

As soon as Edith had left the room and the door was closed behind her, Bertie's mother put her head in her hands, fighting back her tears.

Patricia Pelham had made Edith leave the room under the pretext that she wanted to continue writing her letters. In reality she wasn't able to write a single word more that day.

She was struggling to keep back her tears, she couldn't very well cry. There was the big dinner in the evening and she was the hostess. It wouldn't do for her to turn up with red eyes.

...

She didn't know how she managed to get through that day.

She wanted to talk to Bertie, but she didn't dare to go and see him, afraid of what she might say. But when she was in the library after lunch, looking through the dinner placement for the evening a last time, he himself came to talk to her. She tried to tell him what she thought about him marrying Edith Crawley, but he didn't seem to listen.

Which was as she would have expected.

...

After Bertie had left, Patricia suddenly remembered the things Edith had said in the morning, before her shocking revelation.

That Patricia ought to have more faith in her son. That he was a capable man who would manage his new duties well. That he would be a very good marquess.

That Patricia ought to stop making him nervous.

Patricia realised that she had done exactly that just now. She had told Bertie what a hard task he had before him. She had told him that instead of showing him that she trusted him to manage it splendidly.

Edith had said those things when she hadn't known if Bertie's mother would allow her to stay or not. She had just tried to make things easier for Bertie. Because she cared about him. She cared about him and perhaps she understood him better than his own mother did. To have known the boy is not the same thing as knowing the man.

...

Patricia suddenly realised that Bertie had managed to find exactly the kind of woman she would want for him. A woman who believed in him and supported him.

A woman who loved him just as much as his mother did. Someone who didn't love his title or his money or his estate. Someone who had loved Bertie before he had any of these things.

A woman who loved Bertie because he was Bertie. The kindhearted, stubborn, capable, gentle young man who Patricia had by some twist of fate managed to get as a son.

Edith had been honest with her. Edith had wanted to have Bertie's mother's approval, but she hadn't wanted to win it by deceit. Not every woman is like that.

And even if Edith had an illegitimate daughter, she was still the daughter of an Earl. She had grown up in a very different way than Bertie had, which was good now that Bertie's life had changed so completely. She would be able to help him through life.

Patricia was much calmer when she went down to dinner. She had decided that she shouldn't announce the engagement, since she had told Edith she wouldn't do that. But she should tell Edith and Bertie after dinner that they had her wholehearted approval for their marrige. And that she was looking forward to having Edith's little daughter growing up at Brancaster.

...

When Patricia Pelham went to bed that evening she felt very happy about it all. All the despair she had felt in the morning was gone. Things hadn't gone exactly as she had planned, Bertie had insisted in announcing the engagement, forcing her to do it instead.

But things were even better that way, she realised.

"Should I turn down a daughter-in-law who, in addition to having birth and brains, is entirely and unimpeachably honest?" she had said to Edith's parents. "I believe we can make a success of this. Truly."

And it wasn't only to avoid a quarrel with Bertie, even if she was certain that he would have done what he wanted no matter what his mother thought about it. Which was as it should, a grown up man must be entitled to chose his own wife.

Patricia liked Edith, she really did. Edith was her kind of person, candid, plainspoken. They would get along splendidly. They were not going to aggree on everything, but they would always be able to be honest with each other and trust each other.

And, even more importantly - Edith was good for Bertie. She loved him and he loved her. They were not afraid of showing it either to the world or to their own parents.

And there would be children playing at Brancaster. First the little girl Edith was bringing with her - Patricia had always longed to have a little girl, and now she would be allowed to be a grandmother of one.

As things were it was better if Edith's and Bertie's children were boys. At least the first one and perhaps also the second one. An heir and a spare.

So it was really good that there was already a little girl.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading! Thank you for the lovely reviews - in March 2016. Better late than never.

...

This is the end of this story. After that I have 12 more stories to finish.


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